The Art of Blending In

In comparison to the shenanigans of yesterday’s successive disappointments, today has been a victory. In the 36 degree heat, average feats of everyday tourism become hurdles of massive proportion. Whilst normally climbing the Great Wall of China gives you right to a sloganned t-shirt and a postcard, the tour map, emblazoned with the quote: “if you don’t climb the wall, you are no hero”, has made us into legends.  The triumph of today was that  nothing went wrong . We woke up at five, had a quick Frosties breakfast and were on a subway train by six. Here, finally, we found the teenagers of Beijing: slumped against the poles and walls of the carriage, a cupful of shadow under each eye. School rush hour. From then, a quick walk to the bus station, (momentary confusion as to the location of 916快) and, after an hour and a bit of bus transit, a 15 minute taxi ride to the wall.  The bus ride was a lottery - I sat in the local proximity of a snorer: a man with the inhale of a gurgling

Although a little cooler today (only 35!), we decided nevertheless to head out early and were on the subway soon after 6am. We headed north to Beihai Park, which boasts pools of coy carp, a beautiful lake and copious water lilies with enormous pink blooms. The point of going to a park so early is to catch all the locals involved in their various activities.  Sure enough there was lots to see - and do.  Chinese parks are full of the over 60’s, all of them extremely sprightly. The whole atmosphere is very social.   We know now to expect the following in any Chinese park: Groups of the elderly exercising together Badminton games  Groups of ladies performing dance routines to music People walking along slapping their bodies or pausing for hamstring stretches or mutual massage  Communal music and announcements from loudspeakers People hawking up phlegm and spitting Tai chi groups  Games of cards, backgammon or Go Lots of selfies (younger generation Chinese tourists) The

My final exam in my history IGCSE, which I took only a week ago, was on the Cold War, from the end of WWII up until the 1960s. This was paired with a unit on the fall of Communism in Eastern Europe. Feeling, as all 16 year olds do, masters of the subjects they have just taken, I was glad to experience life in a  real communist country, having missed the relative excitement of the 1980s! I must profess, whilst I spent two years studying communism, it was only of the Soviet variety, and so my communist knowledge comes from its relation to Russia and several books (Balzak and the Chinese Seamstress is one) I read along the way. I have very little practical or concrete knowledge, only general themes and vague ideas of the reforms put in by Mao.  My experiences, therefore, are just passing observations and comments, and they are as follows... Digital hiccups  Our stay in China has been hampered a little by a state firewall, called “the great fire”.  Most Western email provider

One of those days in Beijing which doesn’t quite go to plan...  It started well, with ring-side seats for the staff team building exercise at Fashion Studio, a local hairdressers. The 16 staff stand on the pavement  in two lines facing each other to perform a choreographed dance routine to loud pulsating music. Everyone throws themselves onto it, under the enthusiastic direction of a young manager.   We could not sit around idly watching team building exercises though - oh no - this was our day to visit the area near Mao’s tomb.  (We are saving the tomb itself for when we are staying in a hotel in the centre and can get there very early, before the crowds).  Once out of the subway, we took a short (hooray!) while to orient ourselves and found a lovely, if somewhat fake, pedestrian area with lots of Chinese decorations and roast duck restaurants, each with a waiter outside lustily crying out for clients.  Lots of statues of traditional Chinese figures, a Chinese wax museum à la

Having had three mornings here so far, I feel qualified to explain our position on breakfast. We eat two meals a day in the flat, which are provided to us by our hosts. The starch overload from the heavy white rice dinner means that we attempt to find other sources of fuel for breakfast. Out of hospitality duties, Frank tries to provide us with suitable breakfast food - they eat wheat-based dumplings - which takes the shape of wrapped sticky rice (familiar?), “thousand year old eggs” (two week fermented eggs) and fruit! Fortunately, we were farsighted in our packing, bringing with us two small bags of cereal and milk, plus crackers and cheese. The fruit goes down nicely, washed down with warm or hot water, as tea or coffee are unavailable. E, the more adventurous member, had two banana-leaf-wrapped sticky rice balls yesterday, (with red bean paste!) but she drew the line at the eggs.  Breakfasts are actually more dangerous than you would imagine, thanks to some of the kitchen cust

Crossing roads in China is realitively simple.. whilst in England, we have the phrase “stop, look both ways, cross”, in China there’s a slightly more upgraded version, titled succinctly: “Stop, look both ways, advance several paces into the road, stop again, step back, dash forward, and finish with a leap” The reason for such a complicated ritual is that stop signs only apply to cars turning left. In theory, green lights for pedestrians mean you should cross, subject to bikes and cars turning right. In practice however, traffic lights are largely ignored by all, and each traveller, be in car or on foot, must always be hyper-aware of their surroundings. The roads are a constant stream of traffic, and pedestrians just cross whenever there’s space. This means that for the dazed tourist, crossing the road is like sumersalting over an angry bull.  Our first crossing of a dual carriageway was a spicy experience. In hindsight, it’s clear to see that we went wrong at the start: we waited

Our new favourites hobby is spotting poor English translation in the centres of shop. As a dyslexic one myself, I understand. Still, it is yet funny very.

After the second visit of a chinese monument (Summer Palace) I feel there’s something that needs to be said about chinese museums and signposting. Namely, the lack of them. The tickets for these tourist attractions are certainly cheap, (usually only around £3 for entry) and make living in China a realitively cash-light experience. However, due to such a low entry fee, those who run the park don’t feel the need to signpost anything, thus reinforcing the Chinese motto, “it’s cheap, what did you expect?”. Information for priceless and fascinating historical monuments of history is sparse, and sometimes (we found) not even in front of the right building. Maps are poorly made and boast an often in accurate scale, and the guidebooks must be relied on for any useful information about the building.  Chinese road signs also leave something to be desired - even finding our way  to  the Summer Palace was difficult - grace à the lack of street signs. For a place that sees thousands of touri

Beijing is linked up by a  clean and speedy subway system that stretches and loops around the sprawling city. The subway stations are clearly marked and labelled, in both mandarin and pinyin, and each subway line has a colour that, after a few days, you become familiar with.  My tip for western tourists going on the subway? Expect attention. Despite mass tourism, white faces must be a rarity, as we catch  people staring at us with a look of disbelief or curiosity in every single subway trip we’ve taken. Taking out our mandarin books for some in transit studying was another draw for attention - many walking past or standing near leaned in to  examine the book, several turning away briskly, but others asking cheerful questions about mandarin study.  Walking in the street attracted looks - in fact, our presence almost anywhere seemed to be considered unusual and concerning. When being shown about the town by our home stay family, a man walking next to us suddenly changed pace

We are sitting in a snug, modern cafe in the heart of the BeiJing modern art district. Sipping coffee and looking out over the square of abandoned repurposed warehouses as the rain pours down - life can’t get much better than this. Warning thunder strikes drove us into “Las Coffee” and we sit, soaking up the humid storm air as damp pedestrians shuffle by.  To add to the the enjoyment of the afternoon, the downpour has furnished us with entertainment. Before the rain, the grungy, distopian square boasted several native couples having their picture taken. Not one but two wedding pairs (!) and one matching girlfriend-boyfriend item. Whilst pretty in themselves, like colourful sparrows, watching them scramble, flustered, around the square in the rain was another sight in itself. To our delight, one couple even moved under our cafe awning, and continued the shoot - with the cafe’s logo overhead.  The district itself is interesting - proudly grungy and abandoned. Modern art gallerie

In order to get the proper Beijing experience, we decided to share the flat of a  real live Chinese family!!!  We Skyped them twice, and managed to send them a couple emails about parks and local libraries. What could possibly go wrong? My mandarin teacher’s reaction was a little knock to our confidence in this area - she informed us that when at the station meeting him for the first time, we should casually make the person state his identity first. She demonstrated:  “Ah, nice to see you....?” She trailed off casually and surveyed the imaginary imposter with a cool glance. We nodded sagely, adding “don’t call Frank, Frank” to our travel to-do list. She added in a motherly tone, “and don’t get into anybody’s car, ok?”  Suddenly, I could see The Chinese Mafia brandishing candy next to large white gaping vans, crowding around us as we arrived at the station, hollering for just one ride in their nice car, with frenzied,  wild eyes.  However, despite previous apprehension, first conta

Jet Lag Blues Though technically I’m writing this  at 3:00AM , my devotedly British body has cheerfully decided that it is  8:00PM  “Now is the time to act!” my brain seems to be saying. There’s a small productive man inside, who - having just woken up from a long nap - has decided to make up for previous inproductivity. “Write a book! Finish that project! What’s this word in Mandarin? Better look it up! How about we do some physio?”  Another difficulty is the food. I had supper only five hours ago, but I am lying awake in bed absolutely starving. I seem to have decided that the flight over to China, where one is fed a full meal every three hours or so, was a good regime of health. Despite already having three bowls of starchy, white, sticky rice so far today, my stomach has taken cultural assimilation to heart and is lustily crying out for more. I suspect after my 13th day of white rice, it will be saying something different, so long may it last...  Turning my razor shar

After several months of mandarin language preparation, a hectic few days of packing and a rushed drive to HeathRow, the Gardner team begins their adventure. However, we’ve had a less than auspicious start - for a start, we were greeted with the revelation that our plane had been downsized due to a lack of passengers, and our dream of a spacious and luxurious trip has faded into an aggressive white-knuckle fight for space. The airport security then cheerfully announced, to a sweaty and tired crowd, that the flight was delayed! I must truthfully announce that it has not been all bad - delicious sushi was demolished with a view of the air field, a pretty picture. Sweets have been purchased and we are now already in the back of plane (next to the toilets!) And now the flight begins, with ten crisp hours of movies ahead, as our list of things we’ve realised we’ve forgotten grows ever longer.