The Art of Blending In

After the second visit of a chinese monument (Summer Palace) I feel there’s something that needs to be said about chinese museums and signposting. Namely, the lack of them. The tickets for these tourist attractions are certainly cheap, (usually only around £3 for entry) and make living in China a realitively cash-light experience. However, due to such a low entry fee, those who run the park don’t feel the need to signpost anything, thus reinforcing the Chinese motto, “it’s cheap, what did you expect?”. Information for priceless and fascinating historical monuments of history is sparse, and sometimes (we found) not even in front of the right building. Maps are poorly made and boast an often in accurate scale, and the guidebooks must be relied on for any useful information about the building.  Chinese road signs also leave something to be desired - even finding our way  to  the Summer Palace was difficult - grace à the lack of street signs. For a place that sees...

Beijing is linked up by a  clean and speedy subway system that stretches and loops around the sprawling city. The subway stations are clearly marked and labelled, in both mandarin and pinyin, and each subway line has a colour that, after a few days, you become familiar with.  My tip for western tourists going on the subway? Expect attention. Despite mass tourism, white faces must be a rarity, as we catch  people staring at us with a look of disbelief or curiosity in every single subway trip we’ve taken. Taking out our mandarin books for some in transit studying was another draw for attention - many walking past or standing near leaned in to  examine the book, several turning away briskly, but others asking cheerful questions about mandarin study.  Walking in the street attracted looks - in fact, our presence almost anywhere seemed to be considered unusual and concerning. When being shown about the town by our home stay family, a man walking next to ...

We are sitting in a snug, modern cafe in the heart of the BeiJing modern art district. Sipping coffee and looking out over the square of abandoned repurposed warehouses as the rain pours down - life can’t get much better than this. Warning thunder strikes drove us into “Las Coffee” and we sit, soaking up the humid storm air as damp pedestrians shuffle by.  To add to the the enjoyment of the afternoon, the downpour has furnished us with entertainment. Before the rain, the grungy, distopian square boasted several native couples having their picture taken. Not one but two wedding pairs (!) and one matching girlfriend-boyfriend item. Whilst pretty in themselves, like colourful sparrows, watching them scramble, flustered, around the square in the rain was another sight in itself. To our delight, one couple even moved under our cafe awning, and continued the shoot - with the cafe’s logo overhead.  The district itself is interesting - proudly grungy and abandoned. Modern art...

In order to get the proper Beijing experience, we decided to share the flat of a  real live Chinese family!!!  We Skyped them twice, and managed to send them a couple emails about parks and local libraries. What could possibly go wrong? My mandarin teacher’s reaction was a little knock to our confidence in this area - she informed us that when at the station meeting him for the first time, we should casually make the person state his identity first. She demonstrated:  “Ah, nice to see you....?” She trailed off casually and surveyed the imaginary imposter with a cool glance. We nodded sagely, adding “don’t call Frank, Frank” to our travel to-do list. She added in a motherly tone, “and don’t get into anybody’s car, ok?”  Suddenly, I could see The Chinese Mafia brandishing candy next to large white gaping vans, crowding around us as we arrived at the station, hollering for just one ride in their nice car, with frenzied,  wild eyes.  However, despite previ...

Jet Lag Blues Though technically I’m writing this  at 3:00AM , my devotedly British body has cheerfully decided that it is  8:00PM  “Now is the time to act!” my brain seems to be saying. There’s a small productive man inside, who - having just woken up from a long nap - has decided to make up for previous inproductivity. “Write a book! Finish that project! What’s this word in Mandarin? Better look it up! How about we do some physio?”  Another difficulty is the food. I had supper only five hours ago, but I am lying awake in bed absolutely starving. I seem to have decided that the flight over to China, where one is fed a full meal every three hours or so, was a good regime of health. Despite already having three bowls of starchy, white, sticky rice so far today, my stomach has taken cultural assimilation to heart and is lustily crying out for more. I suspect after my 13th day of white rice, it will be saying something different, so long may it last...  ...

After several months of mandarin language preparation, a hectic few days of packing and a rushed drive to HeathRow, the Gardner team begins their adventure. However, we’ve had a less than auspicious start - for a start, we were greeted with the revelation that our plane had been downsized due to a lack of passengers, and our dream of a spacious and luxurious trip has faded into an aggressive white-knuckle fight for space. The airport security then cheerfully announced, to a sweaty and tired crowd, that the flight was delayed! I must truthfully announce that it has not been all bad - delicious sushi was demolished with a view of the air field, a pretty picture. Sweets have been purchased and we are now already in the back of plane (next to the toilets!) And now the flight begins, with ten crisp hours of movies ahead, as our list of things we’ve realised we’ve forgotten grows ever longer.